This Video Makes No Sense

This Video Makes No Sense

Good morning, John! You were recently making
fun of my new hairstyle. Which is fine, because we’re brothers, and that’s what brothers do.
But coming right back at you John, I gotta say WHAT IS THIS? WHAT? WHY? Come on, we’ve
been doing this for 8 years, do you have no sense of composition?! You gotta bunch of
stuff on the wall over here, nicely placed and visually interesting without being distracting
– AND THEN BWOM, NOTHING. Blank space, baby. Help us John, help free us from the scourge
of the nothing, Artax is dead and you need to name the childlike empress, BASTION, CALL
MY NAME! Are the new viewers gone yet? Some friends of mine, they have a YouTube
channel where they play board games while being drunk. They play this improv game called
“That’s not my name”. You know the song that this is based on, [singing] They call me hell,
they call me Janet, they call me Stacey, they call me Earl… That song? I don’t know what
the actual names are. The idea of the game is you go around in a circle and you sing
that song, with the “That’s not my name / that’s not my name” in it, and then the next person
has to do it and they have to come up with different names to put in, it’s really fun.
So if ever you’re bored that’s just a, it’s a fun thing to do, Katherine and I do it all
the time. [singing] They call me Brian, they call me Nargle, the call me Amber, they call
me Jeff, that’s not my name. None of those are my names. I used to think that butterflies were pretty
much just caterpillars that had had some modifications made to them. But it turns out that caterpillars
actually just turn into this, like, liquid, soupy, organic goop inside of the cocoon and
then reform entirely into butterflies. And that’s not even the weird part. The weird
part is that caterpillars can be taught to fear smells and then they turn into that goop,
turn into butterflies, and the butterflies remain afraid of those smells. Office tour! Michael: 2015 is red-lined. Hank: You guys work so hard. Michael: I know. Hank: Snacks! Caitlin. Caitlin: Hi! Hank: This is Callie Awesomesauce; he needed
to go in a different tank ’cause he’s a murderer. That was too long. Duncan: Yeah. Hank: I’m going to cut all of that. Duncan: It’s gonna be like “Hah!” Hank: I’m going to use that. Crash Course
studio. This is my pile of shirts. I always need one of those. SciShow. Hi everybody.
No way we can see all of you with that speed. Stefan: Oh. Hank: There’s too many of you! There are 40
Nic Cages in here? Sarah: One there. Hank: You just have one? Hailey: Yeah, that’s all I need really. Hank: Glad you keep them close by though.
That’s creepy, Ah-ha that’s awful. Stupid Crash Course is up the stupid stairs now.
Hi, Abby. Giving people a tour of our s… offices. Nick: The thank you video we need from you? Hank: No! No! I should be doing that though.
Hi Blake. I’m just showing everybody the office. Good job! They’re so quiet. Tim: Why are you doing this? Hank: VidCon! Ken: When we say get out poop man, we don’t
mean you. [Music] Hank: I was recently thinking about Vladimir
Putin and how he’s probably not just ordered people to be killed, but actually physically
killed people himself, and then I thought, you know, probably, US presidents have also
killed people, so I looked it up. And it turns out lots of US presidents have killed people,
but mostly in combat. There are only two US presidents who definitely killed people outside
of combat situations. And they are: Andrew Jackson, who killed a guy in a duel, but only
after that guy shot him in the chest, a bullet that would remain near his heart for the rest
of his life, and Grover Cleveland, who as the sheriff of Erie County personally carried
out two executions of murderers, even though he could have paid a deputy ten dollars apiece
to do it for him. Grover Cleveland, very Ned Stark of you. They call me Bobby, they call me quiet, they
call me nice guy, they call me fancy, that’s not my name. John, I think my hair looks good, and get
a new poster. I’ll see you on Tuesday. Snapchat recipe! Cut open the squash! Then
you gotta scoopa da goop out! That looks nice. Puttin’ on SALT. Then ya flip ’em. You flip
’em. Then you remember that you should’ve started preheating the oven when– the first
thing, and you did it, like, the eighth step instead. Then you gotta put these buddies
in the oven. Put them in the oven, don’t burn yourself! And then be very quiet, for about
45 minutes while they cook, or else they’ll be shy about cooking. Thank you, butternut
squash, for your life, and I’m going to consume your flesh.


  1. "Help us, John, help free us from the scourge of the nothing, our tax is dead, and you need to name the childlike empress! BASTIAN! CALL MY NAME!"

                      -Hank Green, 2015

  2. I actually had to pause the video so I could laugh at the "Shut Up and Dance" thing because I almost died of laughter.

  3. I watched this at three in the morning. The next morning when I woke up, I had to rewatch it because I thought I had hallucinated the whole thing.

  4. My life is complete now. I have searched far and wide, this video to understand the psycho that's inside! To watch them all is my real test, to comment is my cause! HANK GREEN! BUM BA BUM BA DO DA DUM!

  5. Here is a discussion for possible mechanisms of retained memories through metamorphosis in holometabolous insects, like butterflies and crickets.

    DOI: 10.1371/journal.pone.0001736 It basically says that neuronal connections are maintained through metamorphosis. They also found that persistence of memory varies according to many factors, like teaching method, age, and gender of the larvae.

  6. The autoplay video is AWLAYS THE OBAMACARE VIDEO even though I've seen it several times (through autoplay, only once through clicking it) and it really has absolutely nothing to do with whatever other Vlogbrothers video I am watching. WHY!!!

  7. the "shut up and dance part" resulted in my dropping my phone on the kitchen floor, my toast burning, my little brother running in the kitchen looking horrified, and me crying while laughing while holding my little brother on the kitchen floor. this comment makes no sense.

  8. This is actually one of my favorite Hank videos ever. It's just a bunch of crazy Hank-brain dump, and this is satisfying to me.

  9. Oh my god. I dropped my phone right before he said "hi Aby"… My name's Aby… I thought I was going to die… Wow

  10. For some reason, Artax and Atreyu popped into my head this morning, and I remembered Hank quoting The NeverEnding Story. I'm so glad I found this again, that opening cracks me up.

  11. I've come here for a breath of fresh air. All the vlogbrothers videos lately have been serious, and most recently about the 2016 elections. shudders

    It's nice to see silly Hank again.

  12. i stop and look at the videos on the side for a split second and i come back to Hank screaming a line from the never ending story

  13. casual tone 'He needs to go in a different tank, because he's a murderer…' That made me laugh a lot.

  14. This is far from the most inspirational, informative, entertaining or important video but I think it's my favourite 🙂
    Thanks for the randomness

  15. "This Video Makes No Sense"
    Me: awesome watches it

  16. This is 100% my favorite VlogBrothers video. It’s everything I love about Hank. It’s got some educational parts, it’s got some BTS parts, it’s got randomness, but all in the most bizarre way possible.

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