Relationships: Ego-Based Versus  Spirit–Based

Relationships: Ego-Based Versus Spirit–Based

Today’s perspective on relationships I
want to address the difference because some people have been asking about ego-based relationships versus spirit-based relationships so let’s go in that
direction. First of all, our ego-based relationships, it’s going to sound
confusing for a second, but ego-based relationships can take the form of
either people we like or don’t like. They can still be ego-based. Why? Because
sometimes we like people that stroked our ego so the idea is not to get the
versus hateful or hurtful or you know people we don’t like versus people we
like that’s what humans do and it obviously isn’t working so you’re not
out of ego when you say there’s people I don’t like which is ego and people I
like which is non ego know the people you like and don’t like are all ego
based relationships period okay now if that sounds pessimistic that’s because
it is people don’t want to hear this but this is how it is relationships are
generally ego based why because an ego met another ego the the relationship
it’s a person with with a body which you do not really have and a personality
which you do not really have so you have an illusion times an illusion and so on
meeting other people’s illusions and trying to make it work out so when my my
negative the dislikes of people and what what they rubbed the wrong way my life
my personality and then I don’t like him I take him from what I liked over to the
group I don’t like but nothing really happened because they’re both still
illusions when you have a relationship with somebody that you think you like
you actually have an illusion of them they like me and they’ll always like me
and they will not because they’re not out of their ego yet so ego based
relationships are doomed there’s another called spirit based relationships but
there’s not just ego versus spirit there’s in between the two those are the
ones in between are the ones we need to be focusing on and look
for it this time in our lives ultimate spirit based relationships when all is
one we’ll get to that right now I just need to get my relationships because
there’s three levels of relationship they’re really mundane human ones but
it’s not just the I don’t like and then the next is the likes no the first level
is the likes and the don’t likes I need to get out of false liking false love
see not just out of not liking people I need to get out of falsely liking people
and falsely loving people that’s the human level the third levels the divine
level there’s a second level that we’re supposed to reach where we’re what I
thought I liked about you loved about you gets beat to heck it just gets
tested tempted burned and so on because if any of it’s real it’ll show up in the
second level now I can wait around and see what shows up or I can contribute to
creating a healthier relationship in other words I can create that second
level and it helps if you can find other people committed to meeting you at that
level listen I know we like each other and sometimes don’t like each other or
whatever it happens to be and by the way people you like and even the ones you
don’t like try in your mind to imagine taking them all to level two they don’t
have to want to go because the part of them that doesn’t want to go is not real
so you don’t have to have to have the permission of the part of them that
doesn’t really exist because you’d be getting an unreal contract so instead
just know that even if people don’t want to be your friend or love you
unconditionally you can choose to do it with them you can even choose to evoke
in them the ability to love you unconditionally just see it in your mind
in your daily prayers and meditations don’t don’t do the old-fashioned thing
of God make them nicer make them like me make them because you’re already then
confirming that you already assume and judge that they’re not but then you’re
telling God what to do that’s not helping either
instead this is what I’m dealing with today they don’t
like me and that hurts my feelings they don’t do this I you know and whatever it
happens go ahead and fess up whatever year you know your ego would like to
happen and then but I don’t know my own best interests I don’t really know what
this person needs I didn’t create them I only manufactured my judgments or
opinions of them I’m just gonna give it all up you know what I’d really like us
to see the real soul in them I want to have not a relationship personality two
personality or body to body I think I’m ready to have a soul to soul
relationship everybody’s looking to single out a soulmate
you will never advance or ascend beyond the the negative parts of the third
dimensional realm until you have holy relationships soulmate relationships
with everyone because if there’s any relationship that’s not yet a soul buddy
a soul mate total unconditional love for everyone if we’re not at that place then
you’re gonna be here working it out with the ones you didn’t get it yet it’s the
only reason we’re here anyway everybody thinks they’re here to like
buy cars or houses or retire or look I got a gold watch that’s it as soon as
you die it’s gone I mean so what’s the point we’re only here to become holy
like we really are and the thing is we’re running into all the people that
remind us of our lack of holiness and we think they’re an inconvenience and they
are they’re a bummer it’s a drag to meet non nice people but you know what’s
really a drag is that they’re reflecting our stuff that’s even more inconvenient
I thought I already didn’t like you enough now I really don’t like you
because you’re making me look at things in me it’s not always literal yet people
reflect in us but it sometimes is and sometimes it’s symbolic just because you
deal with somebody who bring you know looks impatient let’s say doesn’t mean
you’re literally impatient but they’re certainly bringing up issues for you of
some kind you don’t even have to pinpoint exactly
what those issues are our job is sin to noticed that it’s happening surrender
it to God and asked to have a new version come to us everybody wants to
ascend you know the Christians will call it
rapture the New Agers will call it a sin but you’re not going anywhere while
still bound by stuff with other people so ascension is gonna come
not by my being so gloriously spiritual above everybody else that I just get to
go my ascension is gonna come proportionate to my ability to love
people I mean it’s proportionate I love some
then you’re only partly ascended like you know like your foot is you know but
the rest of you is still stuck you know that’s that’s an awkward yoga position
to stay in for the next thirty years so the truth of the matter is we are all
one not just these things bodies personalities were all really one and
we’re part of God’s consciousness and something happened when we wondered what
life could be like if we weren’t with God and the eerie universe said and so
it is but you know that’s that’s kind of the metaphysical example of how we
seemingly separated but let’s look at the the heart level when we children of
God thought we could part ways with God it broke our hearts guys we became very
sad I mean why wouldn’t you if you lose a parent as a child you become sad
imagine how much exponentially more you would be just devastated that you lost
God God is is far greater in our feeling than a parent could ever be
it’s our ultimate parent and all of a sudden one day we were like what
happened the devastation man that the and and
picture this we felt so destroyed by this concept of we just lost God we just
lost heaven and we felt so devastated did you ever feel really so upset that
that blood rushed to your head did you ever feel so enraged
or sad that you thought you were going to die from the pain of the upset yes or
no okay good you did okay now imagine what it would be like to then lose God
you know what happened to us we were one holy consciousness and we thought we
could separate we were so upset we exploded into a countless number of
sparks the fire exploded and we all split up that’s what happened think
about that for a second we were so upset that we exploded into the numbers beyond
count but just for our you know sake of understanding trillions and trillions
and trillions of little souls who blasted off into a dark universe saying
what happened dark and cold universe what happened now
everybody that we meet because we were one all of a sudden who are you what are
you where did you come from we’re not one anymore
so all of a sudden we go from devastation to exploding exploding into
meeting each other and now the people we meet are going to be the ones work
because remember we split apart we explode now we’re filling empty we’re
missing something called God we’re feeling empty so there’s a longing in us
to find something we can call it the spiritual path because we’re looking for
God we can call it relationships because we’re looking for love we’re looking for
things but we’re looking for it all in all the wrong places
and so this explosion the emptiness you know and then all of a sudden we meet
each other and that here’s the problem now what was the relationship the only
one you can have is with God ultimately because we were one with God that now
changed all of a sudden we went from having a relationship with God which is
us and us with God it was all one it exploded we seemed to leave now we have
a second relationship or relationship with ourselves and then once that
explosion took place and we started meeting each other we now having
relationships with others but we assigned roles to each other
because all I know is I feel empty so when I meet you you’re either gonna be
the cause of my emptiness people I don’t like or the solution I like you what are
you doing tonight what sign are you you know or whatever pickup lines are out
there today you know nobody meets going hey you to
the emptiness yeah me too and we both know that nothing we can do
is gonna fix that right so we’re just kind of up creak okay so we’re not going
to get codependent because I can’t depend on you Co so what are we gonna do
you know you know what we can do let’s both own the brokenness what form does
your brokenness tale I tend to get into abandonment a lot really what how about
you all I got addictions man and and we talked about the brokenness then we
could say now that we know we have brokenness would you like to walk with
me back into the light knowing the brokenness and now the
commitment back to the light instead of trying to pretend we don’t have the
brokenness you know I used to be broken but not with you that just means unlined
a pause I mean it’ll just be coming up any minute now you know I’m on menopause
you know yeah so so you know it’s just that’s all you’re doing you’re just
taking a break it’s gonna come up so why don’t we just
let’s just be honest I’m not saying meet each other and go home you too man Oh
terrible I’m just saying such clarity you know don’t don’t overly buy in
because remember there’s two people now you can meet two types the ones you’re
gonna blame for this stuff and the ones you’re gonna credit for this as being
the solution but they’re not the solution the only solution is oneness
again so all we can do is instead of pretending were one because you finished
my sentences while we’re so connected you finished my sentences that could be
considered very while connected it’s also codependent
it’s also kind of sick but it could be nice I don’t know you know it depends on
each circumstance sometimes we’re just two psychics but other times or two
psychos and so what how are we going to do this what do you want what do you
want to do start with honesty I can see that I’m turned on by certain things
about you I might share that with you but in me I need to know that there are
certain things I’m kind of turned on about you know whatever it happens to be
you as a person as a body your personality you make me feel more
attractive or whatever it is that’s all it’s sounding quite addictive stimulant
oriented you might be a sedative drug you might be a stimulant drug I don’t
want you to be a drug because I can’t bring a drug and walk with a drug back
to God I need to retire you from those roles so I need to learn to see you
beyond what my eyes are telling me and if I don’t make the choice to do that
the universe the world life is going to kick my butt and make me do it because
when we don’t take our relationships from the first level of pseudo love
pseudo hate to the second level where I’m willing to see you in a new level
the universe is going to take me there so we can go the easy way or the hard
way the easy way is spirit based
relationships it means more honesty more trust let’s talk man let’s connect you
know and when you when you’re you know you’re not in the mood to go out to a
movie I it’s ok instead of I’m offended all those things are going to come up
but see them deal with your rejections it’s not so much the person that is
causing them as much as they’re rubbing up against wounds that are already there
and if you don’t want them to do that don’t relate to anybody go and live in a
cave but you’re still going to rub up against your own wounds you just to
start cussing at yourself because it’s gonna come up it’s gonna happen
you can’t escape yourself and I always you know use this Yogananda quote people
don’t so much get in pain because of what people do to them as much as they
go into pain and wince when people rub up against wounds that are already there
that’s all they’re really doing it doesn’t seem like it could no
cuz I’m holy and perfect you’re the one who’s inconveniencing me and make my day
go badly but they’re really not it’s true that nobody nobody has any power
over us we just pretend so that we can act disempowered we have a reason to be
disempowered as the saying goes we’re more afraid of our light than our
darkness which seems insane we go oh no I’m not afraid of my light you know okay
well okay I’m not gonna try to talk you into or convert you but it’s true we are
more afraid of our light than our darkness and one of the problems is if I
truly am light how do I feel about having lost that light I don’t feel very
good you see what happens I’m more afraid of my life than my dark because
if I really ever have been a good person and today I’m not today I don’t feel
empowered today I don’t feel prosperous today I don’t feel healthy
and I’m responsible that feels worse than blaming other people I’m gonna
blame everybody else because all the people I meet everybody that all of us
meet they’re either people we’re gonna blame for not being in the light or
people that we’re gonna assume in credit that they’re the ones who can get us
there but they can’t so they’re gonna end up in the other group eventually of
course in miracles’ explains to us that no love ever stops no love actually I
fell out of love then you never were in love I don’t I can’t imagine any person
that I’ve ever known male or female of any color style whatever it happens to
be religion any I can’t imagine any of them coming to me wanting to befriend me
and me saying no because of something you’ve done if we’re willing to move
forward I’m good with it that’s oh that’s one of the ways you can test
yourself as to whether you’re with it or not I know some people seem unforgivable
and I know some have really hurt you this too shall pass it’s not a problem I
totally hold in the light an affirmation that that pain will cease I’m not at all
happy that they did it to you whatever they’ve done I’m not at all supportive
of them doing it I do know very clearly it was not the God in them that could do
that therefore it was their
go okay three go fine so be it it was their ego however what are we gonna do
about it now you can stay in pain it’s going to heal
eventually why do you think you keep reincarnating your back to do what you
didn’t heal heal what you didn’t yell so what this means is you get to decide
when that’s all so I I know you’re gonna heal I know that they’re gonna stop
hurting people that’s my vision and affirmation not hope I know it the only
thing is we get to decide when so when you have your healing and bring your
relationships into healing and holiness is up to you you can do it today you can
say I refuse you have the right you have the right and none of us should judge
you were wrong you for that and if we do it’s because something you’re doing
about stalling your healing is bringing up something for us now we have to go
and heal something and if we don’t we’re going to come back and do that it’s just
it’s all about healing everything in life is are there really
tests and healing and so forth so when you deal with life and you run into a
like a memory of some you had a dream there’s definitely one person I never
want to have a dream about because it feels out of control I don’t have a
dream about them at least when I think about them I can say no and think of
something else but if it shows up in my dream I was out of control it snuck in
there and I couldn’t stop it now I feel angry or ashamed or whatever it was me
having a dream with you I don’t want to have anything to do with you okay
clearly that’s somebody we have to heal with it’s happening for a reason so when
people arbitrarily seemingly arbitrarily pop into our minds this is the mother
this is the divine mother saying hi sweetheart how was school what she
really means is hi sweetheart how was your lesson at school today it was fine
what she really means is hi honey how’d you do with that person I popped into
your head today you know and we like I ran from the classroom screaming I
didn’t want to take the test F so back you go or I got it it took me a minute
so I got a b-minus but I got it I got it I caught on that Wow wait why
am i thinking to that person it it might be for the purpose of healing okay and
you pass your test and all you do is acknowledge wow they’re they’re no
accident or coincidence I recognize they’ve popped up
I accept that this is for deeper healing I give this to God and I welcome in that
healing I mean it can sixty Seconds would be enough to do those few words
and just that way it switches it it switches it and all of a sudden you
realize wow you’re gonna probably notice a shift called peace if you allow it if
you want to stay angry you haven’t really surrendered to the healing then
that’s okay when would you like that you know this infinite infinitely
patient teacher you know I didn’t have one of those in high school or middle
school who said when would you like to take the test it’s totally up to you you
know the Holy Spirit says sweetheart do you know how much I love you I could
wait twenty more lifetimes I mean just footnote according to the contract of
life on earth that that will probably be ten more times with this family six more
relationships you know you’re gonna marry the same person six according to
your contract this will be several more times of going through this if you’re
good with that I’ll be there for every one of those lifetimes
laughing but I’ll be there now I’ll be there for every one of those
lifetimes that’s all it does it’s there’s no being that’s gonna hate us or
judge us for it it’s just gonna keep recycling it until
we get it so relationships then are going to be called an opportunity to get
it you can have it sooner than later I want to ascend then work on your
relationships I want to know what real love is then work on your relation I
want to stop being rejected work on your relationships stop thinking that the
human version of what you want is actually what you really want because
anything you want is going to come in the form of a relationship that needs
healing no no but I don’t want anything related to relations I want prosperity
then you’re gonna end up having to work on anybody that ever scammed you anybody
that ever ripped you up anybody who ever judged because they had money and you
didn’t whatever form and it’s many that these refracted pieces blew out into
space and that we met up later they’re not at all random they’re not an
accident all they are people that we’re needing – they’re reflecting things we
need to work on things we need to heal so our job is to switch over from the
the first level of relationship to the deeper level of relationship I always
say there’s God self and others so when we are committed to healing with others
it’s not going to be by fixing others now definitely it helps to – in our
relationship with others to try to be good people but if you haven’t yet gone
inside with the relationship you won’t know how you might think you know how
but you do not because if you haven’t gone within you don’t have the proper
source and resource to take you into a deeper relationship with others all
you’ll ever do is shuffle around the love and hate if you don’t spiritual
eyes your relationships they can never become spiritual which means they’re
human and to err is human to live in constant err constant love hate up down
rollercoaster rides that’s that’s the human condition but you don’t have to
so we shift to the second relationship with which is self how to do that
when I’m with others and something happens I look at what it brings up in
me it doesn’t mean what you’ve done is
right but I’m gonna go ahead and look at what it brought up in me then I’m gonna
turn even further inside to connect with God where I can say you did this to me
it brings up such and such in me and I’m gonna take it in all the way to God and
say help me to feel loved instead of hurt help me it doesn’t mean like in
love it just means help me to feel peace
instead of conflict help me to feel healing instead of woundedness just
whatever you want to use as a word the opposite because God’s waiting there to
not give it to us because it was already given it’s who we really are but God is
there to trigger it to awaken it in us the divine mother particularly Holy
Spirit of God so we get into God and boom it gets triggered in oh my god this
is weird just 60 seconds ago I was sad or enraged I turned within I looked at
the buttons in me which is responsible going even further I’m connecting with
the presence of God and oh this is so beautiful how I don’t even know how I
got triggered I don’t even know how I was so upset because right now I just
feel such goodness such a love ah now you know we’re gonna go next back out
again you don’t get to just ascend and stay there which is what you’re doing
you’re ascending your relationship and you don’t go deep deep deep inside and
go oh there’s God and oneness thank God I can stay in this light away from all
those jerks on the planet that’s not how it works as soon as we get in because
you cannot heal your relationships as a relationship as an external thing you
have gotta go inside connect with spirit once you connect with spirit it’s kind
of an amazing thing because God’s gonna say how’d you do well God don’t you see
I mean I feel I feel different I feel great good job honey
yeah isn’t this great yes now I just have one more thing for you to do what’s
that prove it I’m gonna need you to turn around no no
no no don’t make it yeah come on it you could turn around and walk back into
your relationship with yourself now you’re gonna have healthier boundaries
because you’re connected with me and I made you love yourself more so you’re
not going to make such foolish mistakes with others so in you you’ve got greater
clarity you’ve got greater sense of who you are
then go one more step with others and when you get to them how would you bring
this feeling to that relationship we know that the relationship triggered bad
feelings but you took them in – you took them in to God connect with God now take
them back into you and back to them how will you be different if you aren’t
different this never happened properly it was an
illusion version if you really got it you’ll come back and you won’t be in
rage you won’t be as triggered you’ll be able to say you know look back to the
love and and it doesn’t mean you say I do again you can say you know listen
here’s what happened for me I’m not going to say the word you at all in our
conversation if I can avoid it but I mean sometimes the words there
because it could be like did you call me earlier you know but it’s it’s um here’s
what happened for me when this thing happened not when you did this to me
it’s when this thing happened you know it brought up such-and-such a feeling
sometimes they’re going to be gracious and hear you and sometimes they’re gonna
interrupt you and shut you down and you’re gonna be like if you with me God
you know I wanted this to go smoothly be with me God and God’s going home
sending the frequency of the heavens down all the way to the cellular you and
it’s trying to keep you together you know and hang in there how can I stay
centered and you’re allowed at this point to say you know when this happened
it brought such and such up and I and I am looking at my part that’s responsible
however it’s probably best that we whatever it happens to be maybe it’s
best you know we need to count to ten before we have these conversations you
know when this conversations start going weird we should have a queue with each
other like you know oops and it means let’s both take a breath or
let’s part ways if it’s that severe see when you get connected to God and you
come back into relationship it does not mean anything it does not mean you
definitely part where you definitely stay you went inside to get connected so
that when you come back you would make those decisions from a new place but
what did you connect with when you went inside give me a word love what else
peace okay when you went inside and connected with God you can summarize it
in a word like God peace joy or whatever when I come back into the world and I’m
going to talk with you all I need to do is make sure that our conversations and
our connections in our everything’s are still going to bring up that word if I
talk to you in any way that is non peaceful I slipped again I need to take
a break and go again inside anytime my decisions with you it could be about
addictions no done why addictions are bad they’re tempting
me you know they’re naughty no because they don’t resonate with the Who I am
Who I am is love God peace that’s what I’m aspiring to be and remember when I
come out here and you want me to be conflict I can’t do that it’s not me
not I can’t do it it’s bad like you’re judging an evil thing out there that’s
trying to get you you just learn to recognize this isn’t me and I actually
feel really good to know that that’s not me
Wow and all you need to do lastly is wish the same free thing for them don’t
say I’m connecting with peace I don’t know what your issue is
you know what hey their issue is you you need to connect with peace you should
absolutely affirm the same thing for them that doesn’t mean they’ll get it
but if they don’t if anything you shouldn’t feel hateful about that try to
fill it like sorry for them in a way compassion like almost like forgive them
they know not what they do that’s all you’re asked to do just
connect at a deeper level and and and wish them well unfortunately in this
world people they just the way they deal with relationships after traumatic
things like this instead of going inside and turning it around they tend to just
kind of give in to despair like there’s just no hope I guess I’m not gonna find
a good healthy relationship does that sound like a healthy place to be would
you wish that upon anybody you like you know it’s it’s it’s pretty try a tragic
in my opinion and so what people will do instead I’m not going to give in I’m not
going to feel despair in relationships I’m gonna do something different I’m
gonna try another relationship and another one and another one and they
think that’s the solution cashing them in or exchanging them getting the
returns line you know and and try for another relationship and and and a lot
of spiritual people I have to say they will actually think that their life is
getting better as long as their relationships are getting a little more
agreeable I think that’s better than giving up into despair I do but it’s not
the end don’t get by don’t just get by I should be happy that at least this one
hair relationship is not as horrendous as the last one the last one was on a
zero to ten was a minus to eight and this one’s only a minus three I think
you should give thanks that it’s better I do credit the positives but do not
pause there and think that’s it I should just be grateful for this a
little bit of an improvement no no not at all but you’ll only you’re
potentially still just juggling and managing those relationships when
they’re just a little bit better relationships need to heal and that’s
when you’ll see the tremendous shift in your life
does it happen just one day and it never happens again
no challenges with that person or any other no and it’s a maintenance program
but when you have an idea of what that program looks like what to do with it
how to connect with it to go in to do your work you know that’s a simple
exercise really so now it doesn’t take that much take seconds really it takes
just seconds minutes or even better to kind of do a thorough process but
seconds to just say oops I got it I’m slipping here I need some help I’m
surrendering my will and replacing it with God’s will God’s will of what love
for who me no for us and peace for us and happiness for us
and if you can’t say those words and imagine the other person feeling those
feelings you’re hurt and angry you’re not bad you just hurt and you’re angry
and the healing will not come certainly not as dramatically as it could because
technically I would like to heal but I’m not going to because I’m not in the mood
I’m still hurt and angry and there’s no good person that should ever say to you
you’re wrong for feeling hurt and anger just I’m so sorry you know imagine just
hugging that person a friend of yours that doesn’t want to do it
never will I okay you don’t have to literally hug him but in here so sorry
that’s all but we have free will and you’ll notice that when you do make that
choice it’s the weirdest thing kind of a peace and love and you imagine it for
them I swear you start to feel different it’s almost impossible to not feel
different when you imagine first of all yourself one with another
person to feeling the effects of being one with another person that’s what a
miracle is defined as so all of a sudden we’re connecting at a deeper level all
of a sudden as the Course in Miracles puts it I have no interests a part of
you meaning I can’t see myself happy and not wish it for you you are me so
everything that originally like is seemingly exploded into that you know
hundreds of billions and even to trillions and even more of souls they’re
all me that’s all they’re all just reflections of me I will meet the ones
that are most apropos the ones that are most relevant to my lessons that’s all
that’s all it’s gonna happen really I’m just gonna meet those and there we go
I’ll acknowledge it I’ll do what I can with it but even people you like
surrender those as well don’t forget that
don’t say I only have to surrender a couple that I don’t like because
everyone else I like be careful remember you don’t like anyone you it’s sudo like
and love it’s fake it’s going to end up in the fire and you’re not going to be
happy about it so don’t just surrender people you don’t like surrender also you
know God here’s an interesting one this person I’m thinking my kitty cat my
puppy my partner you know you my child you’ll think of someone you really do
love don’t stop there surrender them as well and let them be
sanctified into a holy relationship you know god I don’t know why I have to
surrender this one because you know it’s Mike my dog it’s a beautiful day I love
my dog and it’s never talked back and it’s it’s never been that annoying and
for some reason when it messes I don’t mind cleaning it up it’s a funny thing
you know that’s really you know kind of a codependent relationship but you can
say you know funny thing this person or whatever I like them I don’t need to
surrender them God saying please do anyway because you’ll more likely
prevent it from switching over to the groups you don’t like when the love you
know fades or gets challenged but also you’re saying even if I do love them
even if I do if I surrender them to God the love is going to multiply I don’t
want to be the one I must not be the one to determine who’s likable and who’s not
I need to shift into God’s consciousness surrender to God’s consciousness and say
I am giving you every opinion of mine likeable and unlikable I’m giving them
all up Republicans and Democrats I’m giving
them all up and I want you to show me how you see them
that’s all we’re supposed to be doing if we select some to not surrender that’s a
portion of the children of God that do not come together just because you think
you can make them come to cause you like them they’re already included
and the oneness they are not until they’re surrendered so this is the
tricky part you can think your spiritualizing your
relationships just by working on them and it helps but instead you have to we
actually have to call in the Spirit of God to take these relationships into
unconditional love we can’t actually manufacture that or maneuver that on our
own because our vision our minds are tainted by ego to some degree so just
surrender all things are going to get tried by fire and I would rather it not
you and I I mean we’re getting along we do so I would rather us not have to be
thrown into the fire why don’t you and I hold hands commit to love let’s walk in
there together and it will not burn don’t walk in and eventually you’ll be
dragged in and it will burn and you’ll complain and you might not pass your
tests and you’ll come back and do it again and again and again and again
you’ll be a Buddhist a few times you’ll be a Christian a few times you’ll be an
atheist if you try pagan a few times you’ll do all your different religions
you know one religion to try to heal that relationship another religion
you’re gonna you know agnostic and you’re gonna go through all through your
male-female gay and straight you’re gonna try everything to try to get
yourself from not feeling the way you feel about that relationship and all it
is is a choice because everyone has the same challenges we split apart because
of pain and we have to heal pain to come back together we have to go the same
direction we came guys we blow apart from pain we have to walk through the
pain to come together how do we go through that pain joining in
relationship healing the stuff we bring up in each other I’m grateful that there
are people in my life that are not challenging it doesn’t matter give them
to God give everybody to give your kids your dogs your cats give everything you
like and everything you don’t like give it all to God I think I know but no I
better not even bother I thought I knew the last one you know the last one that
was my one and only ever and now I’m in another one and only ever so I might as
well just live dangerously and assume I might not know so I’m just gonna
surrender and as we’re starting to wind up wind up Eve
even your healers and counselors your friends family it’s all the same even
your healers and counselors are still relationships they’re still people you
have to surrender don’t don’t hope that your healers will
be perfect they’re just healers they’re still people who happened to be healers
there are people that have to be your electricians people that happen to be
your realtors people that happen to be your next-door neighbors they’re just
people in seeming roles those roles are not anywhere near important what’s
important is what they reflect to you that’s all that’s going to matter I’m
grateful that you respect you reflect good things and still I’m gonna
surrender our relationship to God you know we have chaplains here at unity of
Sedona we get along we connect still in our prayers occasionally it’ll just come
to me to surrender all of our relations as chaplains to God and ask for a higher
level don’t just surrender you’re challenged
ones because then you’re implying that you know what’s best that you know which
ones are okay well if that were true none of the ones that turned bad would
have turned back because you’d have been right I will say though do your best
with your relationships because when you go inside to God and you come back
forward to meet people and greet people and be with people it still does help be
honest in your relationships have trust in your relationships just you know
clarity communication whatever you can do whatever you can try not to bring
stuff into a relationship to beat it up you know be as clear and open as you can
be and and as and even with that there’s gonna still be triggers they’re still
gonna be weirdnesses that happen because we’re on earth personally I do my best I
like to do my best I like to you know if if I’m committed in a relationship I’ll
say I’m committed if I’m not I’m not gonna say if I’m this I’m gonna say that
if I’m not if I’m angry if I’m sad whatever be clear and be honest but try
not to have any hidden places if possible now I’m not talking about
there’s appropriateness you know if I’m staying a certain person I may not
announce it to the world if if I’m arguing with a partner and we have
children I don’t need to go tell the children what we’re arguing about
there’s certain a pro Brittney’s of course but within reason
to be transparent to be loving you know and and and honor your agreements and
honor your commitment so that because what happens is you know each of us shot
out from that space of God and we’re scared and so what happens is when you
meet somebody technically you walk up that aisle that’s just a metaphor but
you walk up that aisle and you’re saying I will be here through sickness and
health did you ever think about it before you said it
because if you set it and you meant it why do you not talk to them anymore now
that you’re split up I don’t know of anybody I would turn down you know
there’s only a few people I’ve been you know really closely involved in and I’m
still hoping to talk to them if they wanted to be and are best friends I’m
they’re best friends no problem I don’t know what it is I mean I do but I mean
that metaphorically I I I don’t know you know it’s a funny thing how people if
I’m not in love with you I don’t like you anymore it’s like a strange thing
and it’s like try to find it in you now you might it might not be appropriate to
talk to them maybe there’s distance maybe there’s too much water in the
bridge or hate then don’t push buttons by trying to
connect but if they do try to connect never turn anybody away when they come
to you with sincere repentance jesus says which means an apology and amends
yeah apology intimate sincere though he does make that point sincere apology and
amends always forgive always past is gone
that doesn’t mean you’re naive or gullible it doesn’t mean you get stomped
on so you might say well how do I know if their sincerity behind their apology
and amends because the word of men’s means it stops whatever you did you will
not do again if you do it again you weren’t sincere therefore all distance
I’m not going to hate you I can’t would not do that but it might
not be appropriate for me to be in the ring with you that you want to wrestle
with them they’re just not going to step there take care of yourself love
yourself bring yourself into relations and it
gets to be a bummer on earth because you know you can say well I’m gonna step
forward but I it would help if we have communication I’m this kind of person I
have these kinds of issues is that okay yes or no if you ask me and I say yes I
need to try to live up to that because what you’ve said is I’m scared
here’s the space I’m gonna open up to see if you’ll accept me or reject me and
if I accept you I should try to live up to that instead of wounding you where I
promised you something wounding you and then blaming you for it no no no when we
all do that don’t get me wrong we all get tempted to do that try to live up to
it till death do us part I don’t mean stay married till death do us part well
I love and honor you yes the relationship I can see isn’t working out
but I’m still gonna keep the commitment to love and honor you that’s when you
know it’s real if you have love that has ever ended it wasn’t real and that’s
okay yes you’re not bad to err is human but now you heard this so you can say
from here on first I’m going to work on bringing love back to relations that
ended doesn’t mean you call them just bring the love there and from here on
I’m also going to bring love a more authentic love where I am in a
relationship whomever that may be with and I’m going to take that relationship
by going to connect with God come forward and I’m going to bring it
forward and say if we’re going to have relationship here’s what I can do and
not do we agree if we’re intimate pregnancies allowed or not allowed where
are we we’re going to bring the past information like a disclosure about our
history we’re going to do that or not we’re going to be honest or not we’re
gonna do whatever you agree on try to stick to it and if you don’t you messed
up not them so just be true man be true your agreements your you know
commitments it’s an amazing thing I can be a teacher you can sit there and look
like you’re looking at me but we’re all in this together we’re all human beings
and we split apart and we need to come back together and we are able to create
a safe space so that we can step back into the
oneness you follow two things we have to co-create it and we have to surrender it
to God so God can help us do it but I have to do my part if you and I are
former addicts and we get together and we’re clean and sober and we’re gonna
stick to and you start betraying that the reason I risked stepping into a
relationship with you is because you told me you were committed to that if I
can’t do that for my own vulnerabilities I might have to end the relationship and
I am NOT bad for that this is just this is the agreement we had I would love for
you to have kept that you know that kind of thing we play these roles but the
truth is like I I’m a spiritual leader at unity of Sedona I have chosen I’ve
had a few intimate relationships friendships in the nine years that I’ve
been here is it’s um obviously you know dating nine years ago but but I’ve had
just a few but when I do and when I did it’s it’s chosen like I have to know
that this is clear safe healthy and sometimes it is sometimes it hasn’t been
and then oops and then recalibrate where are we going
from here where am I going to go from here we all run into this take
responsibility do your best on earth people will slip then you’re going to be
tempted to go never again famous mantra from hurt people
you know that’s it I will never fall in love again I will never be intimate
again but do your best to talk about it say to the person you know we’re in this
relationship and I thought this and that it’s not happening or whatever it
happens we and and part ways with love stay together with love or part ways
with love but love has to be the common denominator so just closing with this
last sentence or comment we will move from loving others plural
that’s one relationship to loving ourselves okay we will shift from loving
others to loving self when I love self believe it or not one of the things
that’s going to happen is I no longer see others as others so I will shift
from loving or relating to many to relating to many as one the third level
is going to be one loving one there won’t be any plurals of any kind going
in any direction it’ll just be everything seems wow you know you you
look inside you look inside your heart and so all of a sudden you realize I
love as one I love only one I’m not loving many people I love only one but I
love as one I’m one loving one and we’re one in God that’s the destiny for
everybody it’s inevitable you’re going to be tempted to think okay but now if I
love everyone am I now a celibate and and am I now she lifts live alone and so
forth all of us in tiny houses you know but but no guys when you when you love
everyone you still cuz you’re on earth you still can choose you know it’s
amazing I love everyone and yet I can choose a partnership with this one I
love everyone you know it’s like I have let’s say in my case I have three
daughters you know the older daughters but three daughters but when they were
little I loved them all right but I could say one here sit on my lap let’s
talk do I love them more and of course not that’s human trips
it is possible we’ve all done it even without realizing it to love all and yet
individually feel this or share that with that person and not another it’s
okay a commitment of some kind that’s okay but we just know the truth and play
the game play the you know play with it I know we’re all one but I’m gonna live
with you I don’t want them all moving in you know like when would I sleep eight
billion people like you know we’re all one and I wish I weren’t separation
again you know please take a few centering breaths relaxing the body relaxing the mind turning out all the stuff of the world making sure we are only using enough
muscles to sit up or whatever position we happen to be in but the muscles
otherwise are relaxed the back also our mental muscles defensiveness fear
we’ve all had hurts we’ve all felt wounded or betrayed whether it really
happened or didn’t we’re still committing I want to love you everyone
at a new level human desires are often tainted with ego the only righteous
human desire really is the desire to reconnect with each other the desire for
love to give love share love with each breath we relax more and more
into a quiet quiet place take a moment and we’re gonna ask that
the Holy Spirit our divine mother help us and guide us in this meditation we’re
asking spirit to help bring to mind whatever’s most important for our
healing bring to mind the mental image the face or image of a person that we
are most challenged with or that we most love or like whichever needs to come up
let’s spirit bring up an image for us and if you are pretty good holding
attention of two things you can bring one of each let them come to mind and then very simply what negative or
positive emotion feelings do they bring up come up with three or four if
possible happiness excitement empowerment or it could be the opposite
loneliness rejection fear and then just briefly look back into
your life and see if there’s been ever anybody else that brought up similar
emotions or feelings anyone you’ve ever known related distant person an
acquaintance partner anyone in your life ever who brought up similar emotions not
exact emotions but just that theme rejection know don’t get into
details but the feelings of rejection and abandonment and so forth those
general feelings anybody ever bring that up before parent a friend school friend you likely will see and it may not even
be a person but circumstances in your past that brought up those kinds of
emotions the loss of a loved one person or events good all we’re trying to connect with is
the fact that whatever you feel towards somebody that you brought up first when
we started you can see that you had other feelings of positive or negative
in the past and what that means is whoever the person is that’s more
currently brought up stuff for you is also connected to the past other events
not yet healed or if they’re positives it’s still connecting to positives from
the past what this means is your soul right now can say I see that whomever I
was thinking of is connected to people and events from the past own that and
what this means also is that that means that the more current person I never
related to them only on the present moment I was connected to this person
and this person’s related to the past which means this person is part of my
past I’m never relating to them currently in
the present moment I am not seeing them as God sees them in the current pure
moment my relationship with you therefore whoever the person is has been
tainted by the past that means I never truly related to you at all because we
were living memories I apologize for that
I was triggered for good or ill I was still triggered by the past never giving
you and I a chance to experience the now holiness of God I apologize for my part
in that I’m choosing to surrender this relationship to you father mother god I
thought I knew what was up and down and left and right I do not know anything
this is all related to the past the past is not happening I give this all to you
if it’s not happening if it’s not present it’s false how was it ever going
to turn into either a negative into positive or even people I thought I
liked into the holiest they could be I’m now surrendering all of it and I asked
to have and feel and experience a holy relationship with this person and
if you’re triggered by them and say I can’t because I’m triggered you’re still
triggered by the past it’s nothing that is now it’s nothing that’s truly you
it’s a memory of you having a memory of an experience and you should be happy to
refuse to do that we give this to you God and we call upon
your presence in the form of ah peace and happiness that’s what I’d like
to feel instead I want to feel peace and happiness instead of anxiety rejection
peace and happiness starting with the person from the past then to the person
of the present all of them and me included all of us ah at peace this is
what we were looking for and to be at peace take just a half a minute to
breathe in peace and happiness with each in-breath and on the out-breath and so
it is quietly in your mind let’s do that about half a dozen times hmm then shift into visualizing everybody
experiencing that better life everyone experiencing happiness those
other people and yourself all of us oh my god you know we don’t have to marry
them again we don’t have to do whatever we’re just celebrating that we’re all
happier than we were we’re feeling the presence of God we’re experiencing the
beginnings of a miracle that will can you continue to grow and bring good
things into our lives if in any way shape or form I would not wish such for
such people that means there’s still some hurt it’s okay don’t judge yourself
just say I will get to that at some point do a visualization on that for
half a minute and then will quietly stretch out and open our eyes when we’re
ready but give it a half a minute


  1. Perfect timing! I discovered a soul mate, only today who has seen me change from my Dark Night-Stepped into the Light self. She says I glow and "Bounce." That is my energetic True self. Angelic countenance is noticed. I struggle with how quickly everything is developing, however. I now understand the mindless acts of thrill-seekers… Skydiving and bungee jumping might be their " Meditation" Haha!

  2. I love the invitation to take responsibility! And the instruction to hand over all our relationships to God.

    What a relief! What a devotion! Thank you for the reminder. It is simple and true and potent.

  3. Thank you ! Michael, I enjoyed this video . I don’t know where to begin on this subject of relationships. A lot has dissolved since remembering the truth of who I am . I feel like an alien here in this body . The only desire I have , feel for is for God . It has ended all other desires . For me personally marriage just feels so forcing . It’s hard to explain . I don’t believe there is a one and only. One and only moments with another is what I am able to experience now . I truly don’t think I could be in s relationships as most humans are conditioned to expect. Therefore I given it to God , maybe I am here to go it alone. I am only able to share my life , there’s no turning back once you know the absolute truth . I’ve realized I live a solitude life by choice . I love the women I am . When with others that old familiar feeling comes back and I just seem to feel life me let me get out of here . It feels like a betrayal to God /myself . That said I think if we all give it to God , what comes can only be sacred . When I awakened I discovered the truth of who I am and God simultaneously . I thought I knew God , but the truth is I didn’t ! That was true intimacy , the truest I ever felt . I think this is why A relationship feels so betraying to myself . I am not lonely , I do feel lonesome at times , lonesome to connect with another intellectually , and just the wonder of life ! When both show up with an authentic heart ! That is the magic ! So many are afraid especially men to feel vulnerable, but to me vulnerable is beautiful and truthful. Thank you 🙏🏻 I truly think this subject of relationships needs to looked at on a personal level first .

  4. Spiritual relationship is all about compassion and forgiveness but not repeating the same lesson. Relationship out of ignorance or ego is hell lot of good and bad .

  5. I almost stopped watching within the first few minutes but this message seems to hold Truth. I keep running into these experiances which are triggering these really bad Ego trips in me. Thinking im being atracked but its just my Ego taking control and creating a bad illusion of being unloved and not accepted unconditionally.. Maybe its not them….but me!!! 😊💗

  6. Yes I see that and what helped me too was not to be ashamed of my fear and negative though, I learned they didn’t serve to be in me

  7. Thank you. I've been going through a situation that is so painful that it feels like it's eating me alive, and it's made worse by the fact that there's nothing I can do about the situation because it involves other people's free wills. This morning I asked Holy Spirit to help me to see this situation differently and to help me find some peace within it. I was directed to watch this video, and I am now able to see this situation (and many others) very differently, in a way that I've never heard anyone speak of before. It wasn't just the message itself, but the understanding that was triggered in me that it is helping me to shift things now and bring some peace back into my life. Again, thank you.💚

  8. Thank you Michael. You spoke what I believe since I was 21, and the way I try to live. Some people didn't get it and used me for their own short-term gain and abused me, but I never dwelt on that, I just live my life the way I think is right. A lifetime is very short but you reminded me that I can actually heal a lot of stuff before I go this time. Thank you for giving me that reminder x

  9. Spirit-Based connections look beyond everyday challenges. Even when someone hates you, you can still look past the difficulty. It's not easy, and yes, sometimes you meet with personalities who aren't kind at all, love them anyway. If you have to distance yourself from someone who is precisely impossible, you can love them from afar. It is true that you can help someone see Level 2. They may reflect hidden attributes already existent in you, and sometimes they may not. Stay centered. ASK FOR THE NEW VERSION OF SELF. That makes good sense.

  10. I like your view and feel it is beautifully enlightened. I will add that I also like the purple window glass and eggplant robe. My favorite colors!

  11. Thank you, Michael. I am learning and growing from every video you present. You help me clarify my past and present experiences. I measure my inner growth by the consistency of peace and love that I know is always there. Old patterns do not call to me as much and when they do, I see them and am able to pass through things faster. Years ago I was triggered by things so much more. What a difference to keep turning my moments to God, self, others.

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