If You Want To Be Happy, Don’t Do This! – Teal Swan

If You Want To Be Happy, Don’t Do This! – Teal Swan


Everyone wants a life that feels good but if you haven`t noticed
creating a life that feels good is a lot easier said than it is
in practice Now obviously for all people there are
some ingredients that add up to a happy life for
all people but for the majority of people the
ingredients that make up a happy life are completely unique to
the person themselves. That being said, I can absolutely say that
there are some things which add up to
an unhappy life and chief among them is living
according to strategy. If You Want To Be Happy,
Don’t Do This. I want you to imagine a person
in a company who is trying to climb the
corporate ladder Chances are this person is
gonna do a lot of things that they don’t necessarily want to
do just to get what they want. When we approach getting
what we want in this way We are basically playing a game
that is a means to an end. Where the means
justify the end. When we`re approaching to getting
what we want in this way where the ends
justify the means what we do is bulldoze
the parts of ourselves that don’t want to and don’t
enjoy doing something. We play a zero sum game with
those parts within ourselves We do things we don’t like
and don’t want to do in order to get
what we want. Most of us will find ourselves
in scenarios like this on planet earth
at some point. For example: Let’s say that
you want a driver’s license Chances are you’ll go stand in
line for hours at the DMV because you want
a driver’s license and the reason that that
type of experience doesn’t destroy your life is because
we only do it once in a few years. What if you have to do
that every single day? What if your whole life
was just doing something you didn’t want to do so that you could
get something you wanted? Chances are your life
would be unbearable But here’s the bad news This is how the majority of people on
planet earth are actually living. The vast majority of
people on planet earth spend their time, i mean
the vast majority of their time, doing something what
they don’t want to do in order to get something
that they want. This is the story of the majority of
people’s careers on the planet. They do a job that they
don’t want to do so that they can get what
they want which is money. This is a recipe for
absolute disaster. People choose to settle in this way
because they have a belief that it is impossible
to live in any other way. Most of us were raised this
way in our childhoods. We were trained that in order
to get something we want we have to do something
that we don’t want We think this is the
way to live life but it is absolutely impossible
to live in a happy way if this is the strategy that
we are taking towards getting the things
that we want in life. All this being said i understand
that some of us are in much more difficult positions
than others relative to doing things we want in order
to get what we want I’m not completely
ignorant to that but it doesn’t change the fact that if we want a happy
life we can’t live a life where the means
justify the ends. I’m going to give
you an analogy Let’s say that you want
to make it to the ocean but you are convinced that the
only way to get to the ocean is to walk through an
industrial waste dump. In a land called “I don’t like
industrial waste dumps” You’re gonna spend hours
walking through this industrial waste dump
to get to the ocean. The first time you do this you’re
gonna feel like its worth it The second time its gonna
feel less worth it Third time its gonna feel
even less worth it eventually its gonna not
feel worth it at all What you’re gonna realize is
that you’ve actually spent the majority of time
unhappy because you’re spending more time going
through the industrial waste dump in getting to the ocean than you are enjoying
the actual ocean So then obviously the means are not going
to justify the ends. Now this, is a human
psychology principle once you get what you want
the means will feel less and less like they are justified by the ends. If what we want is a happy life we have got to find a
way that the means that we use to get
to what we want we enjoy as much as
getting to what we want. This is super important So I’ll give you an analogy yet again with the ocean. You want to get
to the ocean you don’t like industrial
waste dumps maybe you like the desert. What you’ve got to do is to
try to find a desert road that takes you to the ocean. So you enjoy getting
to the ocean not just being at the ocean. Now i would dare to say that the most
successful people on this earth, in terms of living life
itself, approach this with an even more aggressive strategy instead of finding a means that they enjoy to get to
the ends that they enjoy They find a means
that they enjoy even more than getting
to the ends For example They want money just like all people but
they find a way of making money that they love even more
than getting the money, This is why the best questions
that you can ask yourself are: What would I do if I never got
paid a single dime to do it? and If someone gave me
5 million dollars today What would I do with my time now
that I no longer have to do anything so that I have money? It’s usually going to be the same
answer for both questions Get creative about how to use that answer
as a means to making money It is simply your mind telling
you that it is impossible to make money doing
these things. I can personally tell you,
that a long time ago if somebody answered
these questions with well What I love to do with my
time is eat and travel Somebody who is in their
“right mind” would say There’s no way in hell you’d
make money by doing that but that was before food journalism
was invented as a career. People are so limited by their ideas
about what is and isnt possible and people are even
more limited by the idea that they couldn’t possibly
be the one to create some possibility that didn’t exist yet. If we meet our needs and
try to achieve our wants in roundabout ways as so
to get to what we want its inevitable we’re gonna
end up unhappy and end up in damaging
our relationships This failing strategy is in fact
the heart of manipulation To understand more about this
watch my video titled “Meet your needs” We use this strategy relative
to all kinds of things not just when it
comes to money. I´ll give you some examples: We volunteer to do
something we hate just because we want the praise
that we create from someone We work a job we hate
in order to get money We don’t follow
our dreams instead we stick close to home
with one of our parents and live our lives the way
they want us to live it so that we can get a sense
of approval from them. We spend years in college
studying something we don’t even
have passion for so we can have the
credibility and accolades We quit our job and become
a stay-at-home mom so that we can see ourselves
as a good mom or the opposite we want to be a stay-at-home
mom but we get a job instead so that we can get
societal esteem. We stay in a relationship
that’s abusive in order to get security. The questions to
ask yourself are: What do I really want? What am I currently doing in
order to get what I want? What are the ways that I am
doing what I don’t want to do in order to get what I want? There is no way to maintain
this style of living life without a major
consequences and without creating an
unhappy life as a result What we must do is
adopt the strategy of finding ways to do what we love
in order to get what we want. Have a good week 🙂 Subtitles by the Amara.org community

100 comments

  1. Dear Teal, what you said in this video is true, however, for most of the history of mankind, the majority of individuals have to work continuously in order to just survive. For most of the history of mankind, 10% to 40% of the individuals on Earth, making their best concerted effort to try to survive, fail, and die, poor, homeless, hungry, and exhausted. Many Americans now, making their best efforts, are barely able to survive. Many people are no where near being able to make a choice on what they would like to do.

  2. I got off the hamster wheel a few years ago and I don't envy my friends who are still on that hamster wheel even with their material goods, as I see they can't really enjoy their material goods and are a slave to up keeping them.

  3. True.. n we should always do what our heart says n should never do those work which we don't feel comfortable in 💝

  4. It's a nice dream. But when I look through the job market and all I see is admin/factory/shop, i've done all these to death and hated most, found one okay in parts and miserably boring in parts. Another that was reasonable but again boring. When i've tried things outside of these under my own steam and see no results. I have to just accept that a sizeable chunk of my time on planet earth is going to be boring, miserable and they are going to be part of it. Hopefully I find enough things in life to balance this out throughout my life.

  5. OMG you are so right! I want to be in school for music more than I want to be a professional singer. It will be a couple years before I save up the money to get there, but I can continue my practice in the meantime. I've been putting so much pressure on myself to prove to myself that I can make money on music (the ideal end), whereas I can just continue my cool training in massage therapy and eventually join the educational path I actually desire (the even cooler means). Plus massage therapy is pretty cool, even if it's not what I want.

  6. This is awesome teal ,I wish you would make a video about crushes explaining all aspects about this particular subject ,why do we have them and how to be with them or forget them .

  7. Man what’s up with this world, you are with a wrong guy! You should do live videos with your followers I have tons of ideas to talk about!

  8. Dear Teal, can you make a video on the topic of scapegoats? Like why am I the scapegoat? How can I heal and move beyond this? It’s a recurring dynamic that I am making headway through, but I so easily regress into feeling trapped and can’t discern if I’m exaggerating my own trauma, or am actually experiencing something wack . . .

  9. I still have seen no evidence that money is not intrinsically corrupt, tainted. Or at least using the same money that the mass of tainted ones use, can only end up being one with them. If they offer it freely, sure, but elsewise they are not worthy of my gifts anyway. I wont slave to contribute to something I do not support, and principles are of import.

  10. I soo love your videos Teal! Amazing message! Especially in this incredibly shitty mercury retrograde and mars retrograde time, there seem to be really NOTHING I can do to be happy (stay true to myself) and NOT offend anyone around me. Aaaaah… I know that there are certain things to be changed in me, something that these influences are "letting me" to do/become, but feeling whole and true to myself (which is more important to me than being 'happy') is difficult. Your video helped. Thank you! Hugs from Hungary

  11. Whats the point of being happy if we are just conciousness, we are not important and reality is completely different than we percieve, i hope this next life is better than this one if life after death exists

  12. I slightly disagree. Dealing with the pain from working towards what we want is temperanceng dissatisfaction and ravenous pleasure to help us enjoy being content once we get what we want.
    Being bad at patently enduring suffering creates a desire that cannot be satisfied
    because its too much work.

  13. So follow the old Kantian maxim
    "Act in such a way that you treat humanity, whether in your own person or in the person of any other, never merely as a means to an end, but always at the same time as an end."

  14. Hey Teal…I like what you do and have followed from the sidelines for awhile. I know your perspectives and the opposition. Also know your origin story. None of that bothers me. Honestly, you just seem like you may be crazy enough to be like the rest of us. Well, anyways, I decided to buy your book tonight. I am going to gift it to my Mom. You take care now….love and peace in our moment…take care of all and there is true love…then peace.

  15. Living by the mental snares or descending to ascend is like a continuum of the greater and smaller and never letting go of the lesson to learn something new or chasing money just to love by social standards and never reaching the goal I love you

  16. It's not necessarily an all-or-nothing thing in as much as you have to immediately drop everything you are doing and, from one day to the next, start immediately doing everything completely differently. In other words, why not test to make sure the universe has your back with smaller things for a bit and then make them bigger and bigger? Unless you are aiming really low, you almost certainly won't, for a number of reasons, be able to leap today and be there in two weeks, anyway. Highly unlikely. But we often feel like we SHOULD be able to. But that's ultimately us just being WAY too hard on ourselves. We tend to fall prey to all-or-nothing thinking and you know full well how unhealthy (and quite misleading) that can be! So don't go there! One foot in front of the other, because if you start walking now, no matter how slowly, you will by definition be at least a bit further ahead in a month or two than you are now. It's at least a START. At the end of the day, it's A LOT more about basic common sense than it is about something mystical and magical. "Aum" and "namaste" and crystals and energies and auras and vibes and workshops, etc. are all well and good, but none of them registers for that art class you want to take or begins those piano lessons you've always dreamed of doing. That's on YOU, my friend, and Teal herself would be the first to agree with me. Just go as far as you can see right now and when you get to that point, you'll see that the road goes on and on from there. That's what I'm doing right now – measured, but determined and pointed, steps – and it works!

  17. The world and life became so much simpler when my life became aligned with what I love, I had to remove everything, simplify and simply satisfy my needs first, rationalize and understand the difference between wants and needs and remove wants at the beginning, once my needs were met, my wants became visible and apparent as wants, not masked as needs. This was attainable by removing the tasks that no longer served me and earning a living by doing what comes natural to me, a life that I would do as a millionaire as you say. I imagined myself with a billion dollars, and what I would do to pass my time, and made that my life, the billions followed.

  18. If you want to be happy, don't do thumbnails like these with awful designed text that is hard to read. That statement was for myself, because I'm an artist that is being super critical all the time of every visual thing I see :(. So, does that mean that I have negative thinking because I critique all the time? Maybe – but we have to understand that it is very much needed for our development. In my opinion, the word "development" has a much stronger value than positivity and negativity. If try to look at negativity and positivity towards the vast universe, I can't see such a thing, because it doesn't exist… it simply can't exist. So I believe, that negativity and positivity are simply human illusions and we need to focus more on development instead. What do you personally feel about it, Teal?

  19. You make it sound so simple. It’s hard out here for people and we do what we can to survive. Love the spiritual sense but I have to face the reality of this cruel world. Hopefully I can preach like you one day.

  20. Really well said Teal. Hopefully this video can serve as a wake up call for those who have been living this way for so long that they have forgotten that that is how they have been inauthentically living the whole time. Very difficult thing to remember/realize for those people.

  21. Although it's true that people tend to be stoppable and have countless excuses as to not follow through with accomplishing what they truly want in life (me), nothing compares to the triumphant feeling of completing a goal despite the hardship it entailed. Yes, look for alternative routes- but don't be afraid to face the rocky ones either…

  22. I do not think doing what you want can last though because once what you want to do makes you money it Will be work instead of joy.

  23. True DAT, however you have heaven and he'll, my meaning; you have to have people working like they do so that they can get as much info as possible, for example movies, books, internet etc. Without people doing what they don't want to do they wouldn't experience he'll and kill themselves to get out of it learning as much as they can so in the end more people make it out of here. Heaven is what you make it.

  24. My impression is that life got more and more complicated, and we got used to it. In general we do treat the planet like a dump, and we never cleaned up the mess enough to see our intentions stripped away enough for a 'factory reset'. Minimalism generalizable for the human species.

  25. Most of the people who do things actually enjoy them to a certain degree… 🙂 And I speak first hand as a person that works in the "Corporate" field… But I don't do it because of what I was "trained" earlier in life… I do it because I do desire empowerment from the independence of having my own money and a way of getting things that bring my life some semblance of joy… But there is a lot more joy to be had depending on how you look at joy. That said — I do deal with mind games, difficult people, and other issues in this situation. And yes, I partake of marijuana and other mind expanding substances to help me deal with those things. I think ideally, I would love to get enough money to get a cool van do I can travel more. But I honestly don't "hate" things — I guess I am thankful to be alive. There are no guarantees in this life — but we manifest what we have a passion for… So maybe passion is the key to everything… 🙂 And being thankful… that plays a huge role as well!! 🙂

  26. I want to drop out of school then ;D . i can earn money with my father as an artist and impact other peoples lives (get people to see their reflection clearly).
    on top of that i want to enhance love on the world and rais the vibration 😀

  27. bunch of LIES

    what if what you love is sitting around watching movies all day and smoking pot? theres no way to make money doing that.

  28. Small things are important to see when u are going to ocean. Enjoy things what helps u go there enjoy things when u find different answers how to get there. Enjoy ur growing in sitsuations what is on your way. Enjoy when u see something bad but u get answer to fix it or to live with it. If u been in reincarnation without nice memory of old times u know ur self better if u try forest primitive skills and u see what problems comes and u see how u solve them and what happy things u find in forest life. Sometimes people dont have time for that. When u live life where u dont concentrate so much to forest the way to go blue states are longer. She told in pictures yellow in woods are often with smile. I recomend to schools feeling talking to must thing cuz if human dont understant psygology of feelings he migth miss long time to see its must thing to learn strong feelings to enjoy in human way. One strategy to have nice time is to want to know how to make own 1nes with forest and technology and try to learn somedifferent things what brings u to u can live with group and lil alone. fist u must know how u could live in primitive way then more advanced. Evolution trainging. Build a house to color ur clothes maybe and to airplane. People believe u can later faster feeler and read faster ur old life memories. In every life u will get more inteligenced. So train memorys.

  29. "I'm tired of chasing my dreams, I'm just gonna ask them where they're going and hook up with them later"
    Mitch Hedberg
    That's my philosophy.

  30. Very relevant topic. I would also add that we are hormonally and chemically imbalanced ajd often because of lifestyle choices born out of s context that was thrown on us from childhood. even something that could be enjoyable isn't. Something as simple as walking in public…not enjoyable. Being around people, driving, meetings.

    We can't erase our past though and some of my experiences have wrecked me to the point I wish I was on my own and didn't need to meet people's expectations and could just take risks my own way without the pressure of. disappointing the people I love.

  31. Ok but I have depression and social anxiety and if I don't go and force myself to do things(to be happy and not so afraid from the outside) even when I feel so bad(in the way, when I'm doing them again and again) .. I'll probably live a life in bed suffering….

    There's so much more than work and money..

  32. I honestly don't know one thing I want to do that I can get paid for that isn't a dream job. I'm sorry, but there's only so many people who can be food journalists.

  33. Stop saying planet earth. The earth is flat and stationary. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ynkAL5UUZU

  34. Your online shop is cool you have some nice items!!! I finished Anatomy of Loneliness and it is very well written!!!! 🙂

  35. This is literally my life right now. Needless to say, I am deeply unhappy. Thank you for this video Teal!!!

  36. How do I differenciate whether that I feel depressed or bad is due to my overgrown unable to appreciate anything ego, or it is something wrong. I often pick up something that seems to be interesting for me but quickly put it down when I see how much energy to master it i need to put in, then I switched to another thing. Now I am exhausted of all of these. On top of that these things were often picked uped because I watched up to somebody that did it, because I wanted to feel validated in the eyes of other, I wanted to be better than them. How one knows what one really truly want in the essence? I don't even know when to trust myself

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