Honest Trailers – Twilight

Honest Trailers – Twilight


Based on the terrible books from one of the
sh*ttiest authors of all time, comes a movie adaptation for teenage girls
who aren’t smart enough for The Hunger Games. You’ll be on the edge of your seat as voice-over
describes everything. “I would miss my harebrained mother.” “I used to spend two weeks there almost every
summer.” “My first day at a new school.” Kind of like a book, actually. “My dad’s Charlie.” This catatonic teenager will fall for the
world’s gayest vampire. A film that teaches young girls that the only
thing that matters is finding a man… a 100 year old man. “So, how long have you been like this?” “Since 1918.” But don’t worry, it’s not pedophilia because
he looks 17. Together, they will have the romance of a
lifetime expressed entirely in stares. [dramatic music] And even more stares. [dramatic music] A love challenged by the fact that he might
accidentally f*ck her to death, this special effect, and her inability to pour ketchup. A film that conditioned a generation of girls
to think that love is keeping tabs on each other every waking moment. “Did you follow me?” “I feel protective of you.” And even non-waking moments. “I like watching you sleep.” “Do you do that a lot?” “Just the past couple of months.” I know this looks creepy, but it’s really
romantic in the movie. I promise. Starring… Vanilla Shovel Face and Troy Polamalu. Twilight: it’s just a metaphor for abstinence. Seriously, look it up. Get ready for an hour and a half of people
standing in semi-circles, council meetings, different council meetings, and sitting just to get to 5 minutes of cool stuff.

100 comments

  1. I thought it was strange when I found out that they had at least 100 year age difference……they made twilight seem so normal when in reality Edward was an abusive controlling pedophile

  2. From the studio that got banned from Patreon, for making a werewolf…. eat out a girl's butthole.

  3. honesty its written by the worlds shittest auther😑 also game of thrones and vampier dairies i belive cant people watch this crap j k rolling is far better at writting fantasy and love story all togather😍

  4. Even though many people think Twilight was dumb, or rubbish, or just lacking, I still enjoyed it. I do think that it is not nearly as deep or themed as Harry Potter, Narnia, the Hunger Games or Lord of the Rings, I could still enjoy some parts of it. And I am a guy.
    P.S. I live in Surrey, BC, Canada, not far from the spot where they filmed the Swans' house in Breaking Dawn Part 2. They only used a set house that time, not the actual house from the other movies, which is in Oregon.

  5. Expressed entirely in stares and.. mouth breathing. Don't forget the mouth breathing. So annoying 😂

  6. A film that teaches young girls that the only thing that matters is finding a man…
    A hundred year old man ..
    😂😂😂 .. 1:32 Whaaat 😂😂😂.. 2:07 Vanilla… Shovel face ..lol

  7. I think what you meant is delusional teen girls hungry for bizarre romance. I was smart enough but as a teen…well, I was a mess. I still like to read Twilight just because like "COME ON" it's so bad it's good. It's funny to read it now that I can understand some stuff better. At least I was capable of reading it. I stopped reading The Host because it made NO FUCKING SENSE!

  8. This came out back when I was in 9th grade in 2008 and there was this girl in my class who was dating an 8th grader. She would call herself "Bella" and the dude "Eddie" because she was a year older than him. They were so cringey. She always carried the Twilight book around school and wasn't able to finish reading it for like a whole month😂 Then they broke up & this girl became pathetic, literally like Bella. So yeah, this twilight saga is amazing and I am a huge fan as well with all the hardcover books at home and even 2 movie companion books, but damn it! It's so true that there was a time when teens, including me, were going crazy for this. It really is great, but still, don't act like Bella. Bitch you ain't Bella.

  9. It's not pedophilia because she is a teenager. Ephebophilia is the term for an adult being sexually attracted to post-pubescent adolescents

  10. Honest Trailers: "romance of a lifetime, expressed entirely in stares… and even more stares"

    this is basically it. the summary of the entire trilogy film 🤣

  11. I watched this video around the time it came out, and before that I literally never knew that Twilight was a bad book series. I kept seeing it on the main display in bookstores and assumed it was actually really good and complex… then I saw this and read some of the first book…boy was I wrong

  12. Kristen Stewart just has a scowling resting face. Does she ever actually SMILE? Like, really SMILE? not just a tiny turn-up of mouth?

  13. "I like watching you sleep."
    WTF Bella? That's your cue to kick him, then run out of the room cause that's freaking creepy.

  14. Thing is, this movie made a fetish out of men biting girls’ necks and sucking blood from them, and having a lust for the blood like having a list for them… which sounds romantic apart from the detail where they break into a random girl’s house and suck her blood for it…
    Yeh… creepy, huh?

  15. This movie literally combines everything that is creepy about men you shouldn’t hang around, and then fetishises it.

  16. As one of maybe two straight adult men to openly claim to have read the books, I was severely disappointed with the film adaptation. Bella showed all sorts of emotions throughout the entire book series; Kristen Stewart does her best job acting like a mannequin. I just really think they got the entire cast wrong.

  17. I don't like twilight but
    Why the hell people compare it with hobbit, Hunger Games or Harry Potter, I mean those are action and adventure genere story and twilight is a teen romance story, so there is no way those can be compare with twilight.

  18. i wonder if the voice he's doing hurt him as much to do as it did for me to listen to. dudes gonna need a lotta throte medicine

Leave a Reply to Safia Elfakhery Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *