4 TIMES I SHOULD HAVE LISTENED TO MY GUT INSTINCT EARLIER

4 TIMES I SHOULD HAVE LISTENED TO MY GUT INSTINCT EARLIER


What’s up guys, this is Wenzes. Welcome back to my channel where we
talk about creating an Epic life on your terms. And today we’re talking about the four
times I should have listened to my gut instinct earlier. You know in the last weeks we’ve been
talking about gut instincts in all facets of our life but today I really
want to go back into my past. I want to talk to you about the things
that I learned along the way and maybe they can inspire you to take the steps
that your gut instinct is guiding you towards because amazing things can happen. And I know if I could go back in time
I would make those decisions earlier. Before we get started I want to
remind you if you want to work with me privately, now is the perfect time because starting
2020 my prices go up and I’m just continuing my six month coaching package. So I only have two six month
coaching packages left. So if you want to take advantage
of that, really do that now. The last one was sold
like a couple of days ago. So really those are the last ones I can
take on in the new year and then we only have the smaller packages but
at a higher price. Number one, the profession I chose. So for
the ones of you who don’t know me, I haven’t been doing this my
whole life professionally, at least I come from
an academic background. My aunt is a professor in nuclear
physics. My mom is a mathematician. My parents both were programmers in
the banking industry their entire life. So guess what? I went on to study economics and have
a master’s in finance and I work in the banking industry and it
wasn’t really for me, but I really recognize that only when I
got to a point where I was really able to really go into management I would really working for already I
think seven years before I actually quit. So all of these years I’ve been going
down a road that now I completely neglected and you have to understand
I’m making my living now with something that I have no like formal education in, in comparison to something that I studied
all my school years because back then, you know, that was the one thing that my
mom was always keen on that I studied, which was math, finance.
I went to college, I have a degree with honors and then I
really went up the ladder in this in this area. But I recognize the higher I came up
that it really wasn’t what my core was yearning for. And if I really
look back all those years, I already had all the things that
I’m doing right now visible to me. It’s not that I was really good at math
and that was always the best thing I had on my report papers. No, I actually
was really great at ethics. I was really great at philosophy.
I was great at all the things that, anything to do with
like thought processes, with really learning what makes
us take, how we can improve that. And I actually use that in
all my personal relationships. I always chose relationships that
gave me the opportunity to mentor. And so I’ve been doing this my entire
life, but I wasn’t aware of it. And I’m sure this is something that
you’ve seen in your life as well. It doesn’t have to be that it’s your job, but there are things that we have in our
life that we just don’t dare to look at because it’s just not something
we’re allowed to look at. So when you look at your profession,
no matter what age you are, it really isn’t that you have do
this for the rest of your life. Specifically in our time you
see people at 40 50 60 saying, I need something more. I need
to self actualize myself. And you can take on the things
that really matter to you. And you just got to look at what really
makes you take what is the thing that you want people to see you for. And it really wasn’t that I wanted people
to see me as somebody who can be all logical and get all of this stuff
done. I just wanted excitement. And this was the only area I thought I
could see my excitement expressed, right? Because I had like this vision of this
is where I have to go or this is the only possibility I have and how can
I improve it in this thing. But my gut instinct told me early on, this isn’t going to give
you the life you want. Like I remember it was five years ago, so before I started this
channel and I was starting, this channel was actually one of the
main things that helped me to get out of that. So I quit my job after
seven years after college, but after two years of college, I even started doing this because I
knew it’s just not going to be enough. It’s just not gonna fulfill me. And I remember how I was staying at work
and I was in this cubicle and I looked outside the window and I kind of
felt where’s my exciting life? It’s somewhere out there, it’s outside
of this window. It’s outside of me. And if you feel that that’s
your gut instinct telling
you that you really get to experience it in here, in your body the way you are right now
cause it’s never going to be outside of you. You have to improve your
life the way it is right now. Start from that point and do something
that makes you self actualize. So you want to start doing my channel
I really didn’t think that that was the thing that’s going to give
me like a lot of money. At least it’s going to take 10 years
before I can start doing this full time. In the end, it took me three years, but it only worked so fast because I
wasn’t expecting this to be something that I have to do full time. This has to be the thing that makes me
rich or makes me financially independent. I thought this is something
that I’m building. That may be, as I said in 10 20
years will be something, but right now it was just
important because my gut
instinct told me that this is missing in my life. So if you have something in your life
which makes you feel alive or what you think is missing, then really start living it out and
don’t think about is this actually reasonable? Is this gonna make me money? I’m going to be an artist without
means. Figure these things out later. Do this additionally add this to your
life because you need this in order to feel you’re living out your real truth. And you will see with time
all the ideas will come, how you can be even more of service and
maybe even monetize it in a way where it makes sense to you, where you
feel like I serve, I deserve. But it all starts with you
listening to your gut instinct. And I know now if I would have
listened to my gut instinct earlier, I would’ve done those steps early and
maybe I would have studied psychology. Maybe I would’ve gone into
that direction directly. But what do you know when you’re 20 years
old and you’re supposed to decide what you’re going to do for the rest of your
life, there’s no way you can know this. Your mind is not developed far enough.
You don’t have enough experience yet, but you’ve got instinct. That is the one thing that is always
guiding you and telling you that something is missing and it just takes a while. You cannot know these things when you’re
20 so you need the time and maybe you need to be 30 40 50 60 until you know, now I can really listen
to my gut instinct, but in our time we have so many
opportunities to actually self actualize. So take the chance, start
today and keep on doing it. Not because you expect
something out of it, but because you know that you can’t live
with yourself knowing that your soul is yearning for something and you’re not
doing anything about it. Number two, changing my taste in men. So I assume that’s really interesting
to you and for me it’s interesting as well. We all want to know these things
because the closest relationships, our intimate relationships are the
things that we project most in. That’s just how we’re wired. The closer
somebody is to us psychologically, the easier it is for us to actually
project out the things that we cannot or don’t feel like we have
the right to do on our own. And that’s the way it was for me.
See, I was single for many years, probably the majority of my twenties I
was single and the relationship that I had before that and the little
things that happened in between, none of them was somebody that I actually
can see as a partner who supports me in my dream. Somebody who is an equal, somebody that I can lean onto and who
could be in a life and support me and make me a better person. It doesn’t mean that
the people were bad in any kind of way, but that I was going for people that
could never give me what I wanted him to give me. I had way too big expectations
on them, and don’t get me wrong, I’m not talking about things like, Oh, I need him to be six foot two and he
has to like music and he has to do this. That’s not what I’m talking about. I’m saying that I expected these people
to do things that I could do myself, and it was things that actually kept me
from going towards people and situations that could really give me what I needed.
So I’ll make it a little clearer. So I personally always had an impression
of I need excitement in my life. I didn’t want to take care of excitement
myself because when I was growing up, I always felt like, Oh, every time I
went and did something adventurous, people around me didn’t want me to do
that. I was too loud, I was too outspoken, I was too annoying, whatever it was. And so I learned that I have to keep
myself back. And since I did that, what is the next best thing?
I chose my best friends. I chose my like partners on my crushes
with people who would create more drama in my life. More excitement with that as
well instead of me doing it for myself. But when you do that, you have to make compromises because
you always looking for these kind of categories in people. And
if they don’t have them, then they’re not interesting to you. But what happens when I decided
and I understood Wenzes, if you gut instinct is
going towards those people, those are your crushes
and they never work out, then what is the thing that all
of those things have in common? Guess what it’s me and what is the one
thing that my gut instinct tells me? Why am I going towards those
people because they’re exciting. So how can I actually include more
excitement into my life if these people weren’t around? That’s when things
changed. That’s when I said, I’m going to step out of the norm.
I’m going to step out the matrix. I’m going to start doing things that are
exciting and risky because this is what I love and this makes me feel
alive. And you know what happened? The moment I started doing this,
all the people with their drama, they didn’t interest me anymore because
I already took care of that myself. And the good thing about this is I don’t
have to make those compromise because if those people were really
that interesting to me,
even without this drama, I would still be interested in them,
but I wasn’t from one day to another. Those people really didn’t interest me
as a partner, as a possible partner. I was actually projecting what I wanted
to be and not who I wanted to have at my side and things like this kept on going
and now my relationship is as great as it is because I have somebody that I
don’t see as a solution to the things I’m lacking to the things I’m
projecting. I don’t see it as, okay, I need somebody to be a certain
way. So I feel good about myself. I know where I’m going, I know who I am, and I have somebody at my
side who supports me in that, but I can only do that if I show
up as the best version of myself. So if you are in a position
where you feel like, Oh, I’m always having crushes on people and
they don’t work out, then ask yourself, why is this continuing to
happen over and over again? You’re playing a pattern in your mind
which tells you I’m going for something I cannot have because you cannot have this. You do this to yourself like you really
decide to go after something and talk to people who mirror back to you that you’re
not good enough or interesting enough or that you’re just not
giving them what they need. You do that because you’re
with the wrong people. Those are not the people who were supposed
to support you in who you are and if you’ve had bad experience
with the same type of person, then it’s really about time that you see
what of those qualities they all have in common that I actually
want to include into my life, but then it’s on my terms. I don’t
have to make any compromises for it. Then you’re much closer to choosing a
partner that is really there to support you while you take care
of all of those things By yourself really somebody who takes
care of things you cannot take care of yourself, who are really, really difficult to take care of yourself
and not because you don’t allow it to yourself. Do you know how often I actually chose
people because I thought they’re cool and they going to give my life coolness
because I’m not cool enough. And why did this all happen? Because
me as a child, I was not the cool kid. I was not the one that people
really wanted to hang out with. I was always different. I
always liked my individuality, but people didn’t really understand me. So I always felt if the cool kids
hang out with me then I’m cool. So I always aim for that.
But the moment I recognized, Oh actually you are cool
the way you are right now. You have to like yourself
the way you are right now. And that is actually the best version
of cool you could ever find because your understanding of cool, nobody can do
but you. And if you really live that, if you love that, then you
don’t look out for those things. And then I kind of like really started
looking out for things that actually enrich my life and not things that
just mirror back to me some kind of insecurity that I want to have
fulfilled because what did I do? I actually start hanging out with people
and wanted their appreciation when I actually thought that the way I live my
life and the way I am was much closer to my definition of cool than them.
So how could this ever work? And you know how many people do this? So really start listening to your gut
instinct and understand that it’s okay to want all of those things, but take them as information of
things you can include into your life. How can you change your life?
How can you start doing things? How can you start seeing yourself in a
way which makes you feel you already have that and you’ll see how you start
attracting completely different people. You have a completely different tastes
in partners and your life just opens up like you would have never
believed. Number three, trusting in failures and imperfections. I really like this point and this is
really something the earlier I would have started with this the better because I
have learned that I want to have a growth mindset. With that being said, I know
that every time I fail at something, every time I have an
imperfection at something, it’s not a sign that there’s something
wrong with me at all. It’s a skill. It’s something I know at this moment. It’s something I have or have not
learned so far and nothing more. And the more often you
actually get rejected, the more you understand that this has
absolutely nothing to do with you. And the more often you do that, the more often you understand
what you really want. You take the lessons learned from this
one thing that was a failure for you and you transform it in a way that you would
have never been able to if you didn’t experience this failure.
You know, successful people, they have experienced 10 times million
times more failures than an unsuccessful person has ever even tried. So if you
feel like, Oh, I’m not good enough, people are going to judge me. People
are gonna reject me. Lean into that, be okay with that. Think about,
okay, so I’m going to do this. And people are gonna say, Oh, you suck. You don’t know what you’re talking
about. Why do you even dare to do that? Like go through all of those things
that you’re afraid of and say, I’m going to be okay with
that. Don’t tell yourself, Oh, people are gonna like me, people are gonna like me because a
lot of people are not and that’s okay. It’s just about learning that you’re
going to be okay while people don’t like you because that way you start going
towards the things that really make you feel appreciated. You go towards the people that really
value you as long as you really feel that all of those mistakes, all of
those imperfections, failures, our representation of what you’re lacking, you kind of surround yourself with people
who mirror exactly that back to you and I used to do that. I used to
do that so often. For example, it is easier when it’s something like, Oh I’m not that good at math or I have
problems with detail oriented work and then it’s okay if people see that, cause
I know I suck at detail oriented work, but I really mean even things
that are deeper. For me, it was really often a sense of
selfishness that I was just overwhelmed, caring about a lot of people. I couldn’t keep up with a lot of social
obligations and sometimes I really felt bad for it. So I felt like there
was something missing in me. I wasn’t really showing up in a way
how I should have or for example, I always was a very strong minded person, but I felt every time I would actually
express that every time I would go out and fight for a life that’s better
than norm. People are gonna reject me. People are not gonna like me. And I was so scared of that because for
me that represented that I’m rejectable, that I’m being abandoned, that
there’s something wrong with me. And you know how I
learned to get over that. I only learned that while
I faced this rejection, why I felt this complete abandonment, why I felt all of those things because
then I understood I was actually the one rejecting myself. I was
the one judging myself. And of course if people rejected me on
such a scale that it hurts so bad that it’s because I really believe that
I’m not lovable at this level. And that goes for everything you take
on in life. Even if it’s your job, if it’s your relationship, if it’s
the way you interact with others, if it’s your way and your thoughts that
you want to hide from the world because you feel people are gonna judge you. All of that is a judgment
you have towards yourself. And every time you face the
failure, you know what happens. You’re still alive afterwards. You
still see that you can handle it. You see that you are strong enough to
take it and then others can take it as well. I thought if I once
like express all of my anger, people around me are going to like,
you know, explode pretty much. They’re not going to take it. It’s like so strong and it’s so not
feminine and it’s going to be so ugly, but they survived. I survived and
I’m a better person because of it. You’re stronger than you think and
you can have two kinds of pains. You can have the pain of growth, which comes from facing imperfections
and facing failure following your gut instinct or the pain of regret and the
pain of knowing that there’s something more in your life and you’re not going
towards it. Number four, I’m not alone. This is what my gut instinct
told me, and you know why? Because it feels so good to be yourself
and every time you feel good about yourself, it’s a sign that you’re
exactly how you’re supposed to be. And if you’re exactly how you’re
supposed to be, how can you be alone? How can you be rejected by
society, by anybody around you? But what did the reality
really show me at that point? It actually showed me as you’re going
to be rejected, nobody likes you. You’re different than everybody else.
But why was all of this happening? It was only happening because I believe
that about myself and because I believe that about myself. You know, let’s
not even go there. Why I got this way. You know we all experienced things in
childhood that give us the impression that the way we are that is wrong,
that there is something lacking, that there’s something missing.
But that’s just not the case. And if you know that, if you know that, if you would really step out of your core, if you would step out of who you think
you have to be and become the person you want to be, the people around you
are going to reject you. Guess what? You’ve got to be right because you have
surround yourself with people who mirror back to you. What do you believe? So those are the people who also believe
that there’s something wrong with you. That’s what you chose because you want
to reality to match what you really think. But that information is amazing
to know because what does that mean? This means that if you really stand up
in your truth and you connect it with everything and you’re part of creation, if you really stand up
and really be yourself, you’re going to start surrounding
yourself with people who have the same interest in you, who understand you, who really value who you are
and what you bring to the table. But it’s not going to be in the beginning
because in the beginning your reality matches way too much your old
understanding of yourself, and I’ve met so many people who’ve asked
me for advice and they’ve said, well, I can’t really be myself because people
always reject me and I just tell you, you’re not going far enough. You’re just not going far enough because
the people around you are going to reject you. That’s
okay. And that’s normal. It’s about you standing even
when you’re alone, you standing, even if nobody understands it, because you know deep down your gut is
telling you that this is who you really are. And if you’re meant to be
this way, how can you be wrong? And if you stand there in your complete
conviction of you being exactly how you’re supposed to be, the people
around you who do not understand you, they will have no interaction with you
anymore because you’re not going to be bothered anymore with trying
to make them understand you. You’re just not going to care about
them because you know that they were thinking it’s just completely
different than your own. You just go towards what you want and
you start connecting with people who believe in the same things you believe
in and I can guarantee you there’s not one thing that you do. One thing that you believe in that you
won’t find another person liking the same thing, believing in the same thing, having any kind of thing that corresponds
with this. Just look on the internet. If you really love building something
very specific and you feel nobody has any understanding of it, you
will find a niche for it. You will find people talking about it
on Reddit. You will find it in forums. You’ll find YouTube channels on it. There is a community for everything
and now that we’re connected like this, we get to actually experience it in a
positive way and connect with each other. I am not alone and my gut instinct told
me this and now I’m surrounded by such amazing people who want to talk
to me, who want to listen to me, want to share their beliefs with me, and we’re all connected in a
community and none of this, none of this would have happened if I
wasn’t willing to have the people around me reject me, me stand up and
say, although you reject me, I’m going to live this out because I
will not waste my life pretending to be somebody I’m not. I really
hope that helped you, inspired you a little bit to work on the
things that you love about yourself and to listen to your gut instinct more often
because there are amazing things you can and you get to experience if you
do this. I wish you wonderful holidays. The next video is coming out next Sunday. If you want to know more about
creating an Epic life on your terms, the whole system behind it, go check out the webinar the link is
in the description. And as I said, if you want to work with me privately, now is the perfect time because the prices
go up and I’m just continuing my six month package. So for the same price, you’re only going to get
three months in the new year. So this is really the last chance. There are only two spots left at the
time of this recording. So be quick, because first come first serve. Like
always, guys, I wish you a wonderful day, a great week, and I talk
to you next time. Bye.

14 comments

  1. I would have loved to know this earlier in my life, if you really think about it what's the worst that can happen. Fear and doubt are not useful at all.

  2. I wish in high school gym/health class they taught the things you are teaching in this video. Society would be soo much better off (mentally).

  3. My Gut has been conflicted with my mind because I had and at this moment felt that I just had to match my environment. But your point brought a new perspective to light. And I have been confused for years but by learning about the pain of growth and just venturing out to be myself despite my home situation… I'll do it. I'll try and stick it out because that is my best version.
    Thank you wenzes!

  4. I love love love this video. I love your channel and am so glad you listened to your gut. Your videos have been so helpful and insightful in my personal journey and I am just super thankful. I feel like "yes! There is someone who gets it and is doing it."

  5. I'm learning that personal growth with life transformation is a way of life. And it doesn't stop with "senior citizenship." πŸ™‚ The older I'm getting, the less rigid and set in my ways I'm becoming. In fact, I just added a new item to my vision board. 😎 It's an adventure!

  6. My gut tells me to keep watching this video, even though they are throwing sneezing chicken and cat riding Roomba videos at me, at the same time, right now! Are they trying to block me? πŸ˜πŸ˜›πŸ€€

  7. Occam's razor is common sense. It has value or drama if you ask me. Once you , so called get it. It's easy. Getting command of drama and worried… Bright light bulb. But still the contact is to overwhelming.

  8. I couldn't count how many times my instincts/intuitions have kept me out of catastrophic situations. Lately my intuitions/instincts have told me to take time to regroup/recharge/rethink/reflect, then go again when I'm ready to do so. INFJ

  9. My gut instinct led me to do some of the most worthwhile things in my life. Peace Corps. Teaching. Transition. And it's true: take a chance and see where it leads. Don't let fear stop you.

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